Jennifer Camp Jennifer Camp

To Now See

The narratives we tell ourselves as children give us 

nightmares or sing us to sleep. 

And I see you

wild innocent thing

who believes meekness

is gold and dreads what 

in you 

people see. 

So listen

hear me now

there is no shame 

in mistakes

to break open

parts of you

most desperate, 

hungry

(I accept you)

okay. 

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Jennifer Camp Jennifer Camp

I Don’t Call You

i don’t call you

on your birthday

or even text—

no card, no cake,

no stretching out

across the great divide

of years and time and space

as if i could shorten it,

as if i could pull it

like a loose

thread on a sweater

and watch it

unravel:

stitches wandering

every which

way to get to

his heart.

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Jennifer Camp Jennifer Camp

The Choice

It all begins with an idea.

Nothing is more satisfying than stretching

arm overhead

back lengthening

toes and limbs reaching

for air and

wondering how much farther

can we go

if this feels so wonderful

the awakening of senses long

deadened

from playing it safe.

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Jennifer Camp Jennifer Camp

To Build a House that Stands

I want to make sense of what doesn’t

as if, 

if I let my mind roam

around for a bit,

cling to its collecting of  all the forgotten things

they will matter—

I will make them matter.

I am desperate to make them matter.

As if fragments of mental pictures

depend on me to sort them,

make sense of chaos

and I can’t

always make it work.

And this is the moment

when all falls away,

when I mourn the death of possibility

when we all belonged:

working together to create a home.

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Jennifer Camp Jennifer Camp

Exit

It is a monster in the dark places

we think we don’t go

but we live there, don’t we

the bones of our  flesh

rotting until we turn,

light on our faces,

and leave (our crouched posture

ready to spring and creep

in shadows of decay)

and take one step forward

toward what is strange

and must be good:

a broad open space without

walls and lack and

competition for love.

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